Getting it out of my head

When I was considerably younger than I am now I truly thought that I would outgrow my passions. What I mean by that is I had days where I couldn't focus on anything but a project I was really excited about. I had days where everything, including school work and eating, fell to the wayside because I was so determined to get the ideas out of my head. The song that comes to mind is Anna Nalik's "Just Breathe". She talks about "if I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to" (I think that's close to right). I think I assumed that someday I would lose that tendency. That it was something inside of me that was a result of immaturity or underdevelopment or youth and I should hang onto as long as I could because it would go away someday. I would grow up and be less creative, less intense, less artistic. I remember around the time I had my first child my mind was sluggish all the time. I read books and I watched movies, I even performed in plays but there was no fire in what I was doing. I think it's because at that particular time in my life my energies were so focused on motherhood and what that entails, my poor body and brain had no room for creative passion. Not that I'm complaining, I love raising kids (most of the time) and being a mom at all stages has fulfilled me beyond my imagining. My kids are older now and have fewer demands than when they were babies and toddlers. Artistically my experiences have magnified.
The point of all this is: I've done 2 projects in the last 12 months that I have worked on to distraction. In a way that makes me feel like 1 of 2 things is true...I haven't outgrown my creativity yet, or I never will. As to how I feel about those two things I cannot say at this point.
What does this have to do with Jesus Christ Superstar? Well, this is the second show I have directed that I did not choose. I was asked to direct this show. I don't mean to indicate that it was a hard sell for me to direct it. I was familiar with the show, in fact I worked tech on it when it was done in the Magic Valley in 1998. Some of the music I have kept tucked safely in my heart since then. I remember in recent years, (long before the thought of RAT producing this show entered into my sphere) I was going through a particularly difficult time and the song "Everything's All Right" popped into my head and wouldn't leave. "Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to, problems that upset you, no...Everything's All Right, yes Everything's fine.  So when I say I didn't choose this show I mean it's not on my "dream list" of shows to direct. After I agreed to direct it I followed my usual processes as a director. I started to research. I listened to several different recordings from the show, I watched countless videos on YouTube I read several articles about not only the show but the rather famous story it is based on from various resources. I thought about the show to distraction long before we even announced auditions. Now that we are "in it", now that our first cast meeting is tonight, I am so amped up with energy and ideas I feel like I'm going to explode. I don't know if I should warn my creative team and cast or just let them hop on and enjoy the ride...probably the latter. (Well I guess that's spoiled if any of them read my blog). Wow. I just re-read all of that and I feel a bit like a maniac. But it feels good to get it all down on "paper" so welcome to my crazy mind everyone. Mark your calendars to come see our latest venture. We will post regular updates here and on Facebook if you want to "hop on" in any way. April 16, 17 and 18 are the show dates. Downtown Twin Falls at the Orpheum Theatre. (I won't get STARTED on the amazing energy in THAT place today).