An opening night blog - A Human Story

Another opening. I’m not exactly an “old” hand at directing shows yet but I feel slightly less fear at this opening than I did the one before it. It could be the exhaustion that I’ve been battling for weeks, not only because of the show but because of the other things I have pulling on me right now. It could be maturity and the knowledge that I’ve done absolutely everything I could as a director and the right thing to do is turn this show over to the actors and give them the freedom they deserve to run with it. It could be my ever constant battle to fight against my nature to achieve perfection. I actually have to spend energy telling myself that things don’t have to be perfect. That my best is good enough for everyone else, it ought to be good enough for me. Whatever “it” is the end result is this: I’m not afraid.

Letting go of that is hard. I’ve spent a fair amount of time in my life carefully crafting scenarios and working HARD to get things just so. I never wanted to feel like my efforts just weren’t good enough. Good enough for whom I cannot say. I don’t suffer from a lack of encouragement from those around me. I don’t have issues with self-esteem or confidence. I just worry about being “not good enough”. Like a litany repeating in my head when things are not just right: “not good enough, not good enough, not good enough.”

This is, of course, rather contradictory of my creative process. In which I try to create an atmosphere where something grows out of something else. The best metaphor I can use is one of a plant. To successfully grow a plant there are a few things you need to do: plant the seed, ensure that it has water, sunlight and nutrition. Beyond that, you cannot always control what the plant will do. How will the branches grow? Where will the flowers boom? You can only give the plant the required tools it needs to grow, not dictate the exact pattern of growth.

Directing is kind of like that. I cannot tell every actor what to feel, how to move, what to think. I can only plant seeds of ideas in their heads and nurture it. The growth of the actor is for them alone. So there is a lot I cannot control in my production. Decisions that actor’s make on how they look, what they emphasize where they take the emotion of the scene. And I’m okay with that. Because out of that the most beautiful, poignant moments grow.

That has been my experience with Jesus Christ Superstar. So many beautiful moments have grown out of what we have rehearsed. So many pictures have been created on stage that are burned into my head. This show has grown into a story. About people and the struggles they face without knowing the long reaching results of their lives. Some of them feel insignificant. Some of them feel profound. You will be able to see that in the actors in this show. Some have to make hard decisions, like us in real life. Some of them have things thrust upon them that they have to do something with, like it or not. Some are just along for the ride and when the moment, the event, passes they quietly move on in their lives.

Above all else this show is one of my favorite genres of stories. I call it a human story. One that looks at how people live their lives. One that makes us think about how we live our lives.  I’m very happy to bring you this story. I’m very excited to share these moments with an audience.

Blasphemy?

If you are following us and you read the newspaper article you know that our production of Jesus Christ Superstar is modern times. I decided to do this for a couple different reasons. First because I am very aware that this show was done in the Magic Valley in the summer of 1998 as I worked backstage for that wonderful production. It is very important to me as an artist that I do not imitate another director’s work. That I make my work distinct and different than other directors.  I also work very hard to be inspired by a project I'm working on from my own feelings and experiences avoiding watching other variations of the production. I decided very early on that I could not, would not, do the play in a Judeo-Christian setting. Partly because it's been done that way a great many times.

 Mostly because I feel like the true beauty in this story (the one in the bible and the interpretive dialogue in this musical) is the universal truths about human beings. Jesus, whether a deity or not, (I'm not preaching or indicating my own feelings about him), was a charismatic leader who preached love, forgiveness, loving God and loving one another. His ideas were radical at the time. His methods were very much against the tradition not only of the Jews but also the Romans who occupied Jerusalem at the time, who were mostly pagan at the time of Christ.

Fast forward to Martin Luther King Jr. in America 1960's. His message was one of equality and love and tolerance. Forgiveness and acceptance. A greater human race that is above killing, hating and hierarchy. He was killed. Not by the government, but martyred for his beliefs none the less.

Harvey Milk in America 1970’s. A forerunner in equal rights for the LGBT community. He talked about love, acceptance, tolerance and equality. He was also killed not only because he was gay, but also because he felt like he, and others like him, deserved to be treated equally.

These are just two examples with parallels to the story of Jesus. In the 2,015 years the message of humans loving others more than themselves, despite the differences between them, has not spread far enough to be a proponent of peace among our species. Men like Martin Luther King Jr. And Harvey Milk died for what they believed in. They paved the way for change that we have seen unfold in our lifetime. We HAVE made progress. We ARE getting better…but we are not there yet.

Am I an instrument of change? Am I an activist trying to change the world? I am not. I am just a woman. Living in America with a dream. A dream of a world for my children and grandchildren where equality is not a fight, but a gift, given because we are all human. Where race, nationality, gender, beliefs aren’t a measure for a person’s worth. I like to whimsically Imagine with John Lennon.

Jesus Christ Superstar is my opportunity to share this message with the community I live in, and love dearly. If this message disgusts you. If you are closed to this idea. If you feel that what I am doing with this show is disrespectful or blasphemous I can do nothing about that.

I send this message out with a final thought. Mahatma Gandhi said: “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” The change I want to see is love, forgiveness, acceptance and tolerance.  If that means I stop honking my horn at the parents who don’t wait their turn at the 4 way stop and that’s the greatest thing I can do so be it. If that means I show my children the value in learning more about a person before deciding what kind of person they REALLY are than I will do it. I challenge anyone who reads this to do the same. Approach others with these four words: Love, Forgiveness, Tolerance, and Acceptance and I will try to do the same.  Thank you.

Thoughts and Ramblings on Gethsemane and Christ

Every character in every show has that "make or break" number they sing in musical theatre or opera: "Largo al Factotum" for Figaro, "Music of the Night" for the Phantom, and “Modern Major General" for MG Stanley. Each of these presents a unique challenge in every regard. Some are comic, some serious, some romantic. The interesting challenge with Gethsemane is that it is a piece that is so rooted in the stages of grief. It truly cycles through all of them, and obviously begrudgingly/triumphantly ends in the acceptance of fate.

Going through the process of identifying the character of Christ really has been about identifying the kind of MAN he is as he goes through the musical journey of Gethsemane. It is a great opportunity (and a rare one) when we see a character so completely stripped of all layers and baring the soul before the audience. We have the chance to see and explore what the MAN is truly made of. Of course, it isn't the only piece Jesus is in during the show, but this is the moment when we find him ALONE and most vulnerable. In my opinion, even more so than the moments leading to his death. It is Christ at his most human.

Demonstrating this is a challenge. It is the reason I accepted the role. Something to keep me working, but something of a different stripe. It is an emotionally taxing piece, even more so than vocally regardless that this is a far cry from "my style" of singing. How do I demonstrate the humanity of this character, this legendary god figure, this man who strives to be more than a man - not for HIS sake, but for others?

It is a beautiful piece filled with emotion. And even though I've been working through it for the short time I have been, I already feel more connected to the character, the legend, the mythos of Christ that I have ever before. But I feel the connection more because I see him in the context of Gethsemane: a man - fearful, alone, unsure, anxious, angry, sad... ultimately willing to take it upon himself to pay the ultimate price.

Now, my mission is to let the audience see what I have glimpsed at. Thought I go through this same process with every role I take upon myself, this one will mean something quite different.

I hope to show our audience something unexpected.

JMJ

Easing the Burden

Every show I, or one of my immediate family members participates takes a little bit from me. By that I mean, as artists, when you do a show, whether your part is big or small, direct or peripheral it takes something out of you. Time, money, sleep, and the company of your family and friends are just a few examples of things we give up to do a show. 

That sounds like a huge sacrifice so why do we do it? A couple of reasons. When a fire burns inside you to do a show because you feel so strongly about it anything you sacrifice is worth it. For me, the second reason, the bigger reason, is I get to collaborate with truly amazing and talented people. My directing experience is not very long yet and I'm still growing into the kind of director I hope to eventually be. I know, without a doubt, my limitations on talent. It is for this reason I put together a directing team for this show: to share the burden of work, and to enhance the production through other artistic eyes. 

I look at the work Susanna Terry and Autumn Robinson are doing and I'm filled with gratitude that they chose to sacrifice their time (and sleep!) for my project. I have the support of Shane Brown and Jud Harmon in making technical magic on the stage through sets, lights and special effects. I have Ryan Terry who has spent countless hours with the performance software adjusting it to fit our production and getting the best sound possible out of the pre-recorded tracks. (A live band simply would not fit on the stage so a recording was our only option). I have an assistant director, Tom Crozier, who all I have to do is give instructions on a big project like a slide show or programs and he will run with it and take so much of the work of this production off my back. I have a Mykell Walton, my costume lady, whose vision and creativity is lining up perfectly with my concept for this show. I have two sharp sound technicians, TJ Toynbee and Kevin Markkola, who come to every rehearsal so they can be as familiar as possible with the show. I have a large, dedicated cast who works tirelessly on choreography, music and character both in rehearsal and at home on their own time. All of these elements put together creates the show. 

It's like the old saying "it takes a village to raise a child."  It takes so much more than a director to put a show together. It takes a very special group of people, each working in their own area of talent and expertise to bring a production of this magnitude to the stage. I am incredibly grateful to everyone who is giving their precious time and talents to bring Jesus Christ Superstar to the Magic Valley. 

If you’re excited to see this show you can purchase your reserved seats right now online. The website is www.orpheum.ovationpac.com.  Online ticket sales do have a small convenience fee. We are very excited to present this show in a little over three weeks. We hope to see you at the theatre.

The Cast's Favorite Songs

The cast’s favorite songs from the show. Since I shared my favorite song and why with you all I thought you might enjoy hearing from some of my cast members. So I asked them what their favorite song was and why. Here are their responses:

Ashley White (Chorus/Leper) – Herod’s Song because the song and the dance are hella rad.

Bekah Merrick (Apostle/Chorus) – Blood Money because it’s constantly stuck in my head even though the only words I know in it are “I don’t want your blood money”.

Brandon Scott Tesch (Herod) – Herod’s Song. It’s just ever so lovely.

Quinn Fillmore (Simon Zealot) – Blood Money. It’s just too catchy and I love the feel of it.

Johanna Stagge (Mary Magdalene) – Gethsemane. Always. When I first heard Gethsemane I was a teenager and, at first, the lyrics seemed wrong. I always though Jesus was up to the task. Why would he beg to be spared? He’s pleading. Begging. With everything he is. Defeated. Because he’s human.

Jared Johnson (Jesus) – Gethsemane

Brianna Larson (Chorus/Reporter) – Can We Start Again Please, because of the interaction with Mary and all the children, and the music is pretty.

Kat Powell (Priestess/Chorus) – I agree with Johanna, and the song (Gethsemane) just brings me to tears. But then there is the pompus Herod who challenges Jesus in Herod’s Song. The tune is lighthearted and upbeat so juxtaposed to the situation at hand.

Todd Carpenter (Apostle) – I 100% have to say “Heaven on Their Minds.” I think the vocals in that song are amazing. Judas’ songs and Mary’s songs rock completely but the first song of the play
Rocks the hardest.

What’s YOUR favorite song from the show?

Don’t forget you can get your tickets now at:
www.orpheum.ovationpac.com

Tickets are on sale NOW

You can get your tickets to this unforgettable event NOW by clicking the following link:

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We hope to see YOU at the Orpheum Theatre in a little over 4 weeks!

Heaven on Their Minds

I may have mentioned before that what I love about musicals is the addition of an emotional connection through powerful music. In preparing for this musical I am constantly changing what my favorite song is. I vacillate pretty consistently between "Heaven on their Minds" and "Everything's All Right". I am also quite partial to "Pilate's Dream."

Heaven on their minds is one of my favorites because I think it vocalizes the real concern with the movement Jesus is leading into Jerusalem. The crowd is getting bigger and louder and the setting is not entirely open to change. While the bulk of the followers are on board to press forward there are a handful of them that have fear, doubts. Not fear of change, more fear of authority and consequences.

In this song Judas vocalizes his concerns. He's taken this journey with Jesus, been "his right hand man all the while" but he sees that the followers are "blind" and driving forward at a pace that is dangerous for the movement to survive. What exactly is that movement? We are developing that as we go. Solidifying what changes Jesus was advocating. The changes that Judas feared and the Priests and Priestesses are determined to destroy.

Unfortunately this situation is not unique to the story being told here. There have been many times in the history of man that a movement, a crying out for change, has scared authorities or people in power. Subsequently the leaders of such movements are eliminated as we see in this story. Not always does it come to a brutal death but certainly there is a strong resistance to the change. If there aren't enough voices and strength to survive opposition the movement either dies or suffers set backs. We can see this in civil rights movements, in countries trying to gain independence from a group holding power, and in class warfare between the haves and the have not's. It's documented over and over again in history.

I believe that human beings have the power to change that. I believe we hold within us the absolute power to achieve peace. I believe we, as a civilization, make a conscious choice to not accept others. I believe we can all do better.

A "Doubting Thomas" blog

I once got hypnotized at a state fair. While I was hypnotized on stage I was given commands and I just reacted to them. I had no thought of what to do or think: just reacted. That is my main focus while preparing my character for this part. I don't want to over think my character. I want to feel what my character wants and wants to become.

My character is Thomas Dubbio (dubbio means doubting in Italian). He’s a small town guy from Nebraska. He played as a defensive back for his high school and college football teams. Then talent scouts recruited him to try out for the New York Jets. After signing on with the team he meets Judas, who is in New York spreading Christ's message and converts him to "Christianity". He becomes close friends with Judas and admires him. And takes his betrayal very hard. But all in all Thomas knows he is devoted to Christ and decides to follow Jesus.


While making decisions I am going 100% with my gut. First thing that pops into my head I run with. I feel that it is helping me be more natural. Even if my character is known for doubting.

Todd Carpenter - "Thomas"

"The Opposite of War"

One of my favorite lines is "La Vie Boheme" from the musical Rent by Jonathan Larson. Is goes: "The opposite of war isn't peace, it's CREATION."  I love this line for different reasons at different times. In fact I love the entire song (and musical) in varying degrees at different times. I've thought a lot about why I love this particular line and the conclusion I've come to is: I believe it.

War is conflict, right. Sometimes it's on a grand scale, worldwide. Sometimes it's on a small scale, sibling rivalry. Conflict. Why does conflict arise? There really isn't a single answer to that question. But one reason conflict arises is because of ignorance and intolerance. At times these things are paired, other times they are independent of each other. Either way they are terrifying attributes. The birth of so many conflicts. Bloody, heart wrenching, devastating conflict. Why is peace not the opposite of war? In my mind it's because of what has to happen for true creation. 

Creation, for me, is learning and growing. Creation is expressing the fire inside through various means.  When a person is learning and growing they are widening their scope of the world. They are looking at different people and seeing different things. They absorb new things, internalizing them for use in a future project or conversation or experience. By looking at new things they learn. When a person has a wider scope of the world their eyes are open to so much more.

The word I keep coming back to is differences. The more I learn about other's differences, more specifically WHY they feel the way they do, the less inlined I am to war against them. I can gain tolerance for things I do not understand or agree with when I can put a human face on it. It's easier to see two sides of the same issue when the dialogue is open and it doesn't contain hate. Communication is a powerful tool to avoid conflict. Honest and courteous communication.

For me creation comes from directing a show. I've said before it's about putting a picture together from pieces. It's also about telling a story. Sometimes I tell stories because I want to make people laugh. Sometimes I tell stories to make them cry. Sometimes I tell a story because I want them to understand, and even prescribe to, my way of thinking. I want them to leave my story changed in some small way. I want to teach them something.

I won't go into it in this post. I will only allude to my production of Jesus Christ Superstar. The story I am planning to tell is not to make you cry, or laugh although you may do one or both during the process, but to make you think. I approach it less at the re-telling of the story, but rather an examination of why stories like this happen. Over and over again in history.

Replacing the music in my head

Jesus Christ Superstar will be the third musical I've directed. My first was The Wizard of Oz with Hansen High School 11 years ago.  (Almost 12!!). My second was The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee just last fall.

Now I should have preluded that with the fact that I LOVE musicals. I grew up watching so many of the classics, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, My Fair Lady, The Sound of Music, The Pajama Game, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Fiddler on the Roof oh! I could go on and on with that list. And it doesn't even include the shows I listened to for years but didn't see a movie or performance. Les Miserables, Into the Woods, Evita, Phantom of the Opera...I love them. When my husband Jud and I started dating we had a very serious discussion about the validity of musicals.  He firmly believed that musicals were not to be taken seriously because they were not "realistic" in nature. The strongest argument he had was telling me: "people do NOT spontaneously burst out into song and dance around about what they're feeling." I was crushed. The very thing he was describing was something I DID. All the time.  When I gave him my feeble response of: "I do." His reply was simple, "Well, you're a crazy person."  Considering the fact that he STILL calls me a crazy person (with various inflections) after all this time I guess my brand of crazy is all right with him. In the meantime, we have spent years debating the merits of musical theatre over "straight" plays. My argument is that music touches a different part of the human emotion than just dialogue. I believe that's why musicals are so popular. They touch people deeply on several different levels.

So the point of all that was I'm very familiar with a great many musicals, old and new alike, but I haven't yet directed a great many of them. As part of my preparation for directing a show I do a tremendous amount of research. For both the musicals I have directed in the last year one of my first lines of research was listening to the recordings of the musical. I downloaded the cd's and plugged in and listened to them over and over again. Picking apart some things, tuning into others. I like to rearrange the tracks and listen to them out of sync and see what sounds different, what pops out to me. With the Putnam County Spelling Bee the WEEK we started rehearsals I stopped listening to the broadway recording. It's not because I didn't enjoy it, it's just that the actors working on my production were bringing their own insight and inflection to the show and I was enjoying the process so much that I wanted to focus on their way of singing.

Jesus Christ Superstar started rehearsals (slowly) this week meeting with some of the actors who have a solo song in the show. We kept it light because all three of the directing team (myself, Susanna, and Autumn) had other show commitments this past week. The three of us will be jumping from one show to the next. Susanna and I had the privilege to listen to Johanna Stagge (playing Mary), Brandon Tesch (playing Herod) and Dustin Hobdey (playing Judas) rehearse their songs. I don't want to listen to the cd I downloaded all those months ago. I want to listen to the actors we have cast create a sound and a character independent of what has been recorded. They are all doing their research too. Listening to different ideas, thinking about motives, talking about their feelings on the music and characters.

We get to start with the whole cast on Tuesday. I am so excited. The cast has had the rehearsal music for over a week. I know for a fact many of them have already been singing along. We are all so excited to bring this story to life. To tell this story in a way that hasn't been done before. Each of us striving to put our own mark, our own experience, thoughts and feelings to the characters that have been written into this show.  I have have such a good feeling about this show. Mark your calendars now. April 16, 17 and 18, 2015. At the Orpheum Theatre. Tickets will go on sale by mid-March.

Getting it out of my head

When I was considerably younger than I am now I truly thought that I would outgrow my passions. What I mean by that is I had days where I couldn't focus on anything but a project I was really excited about. I had days where everything, including school work and eating, fell to the wayside because I was so determined to get the ideas out of my head. The song that comes to mind is Anna Nalik's "Just Breathe". She talks about "if I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to" (I think that's close to right). I think I assumed that someday I would lose that tendency. That it was something inside of me that was a result of immaturity or underdevelopment or youth and I should hang onto as long as I could because it would go away someday. I would grow up and be less creative, less intense, less artistic. I remember around the time I had my first child my mind was sluggish all the time. I read books and I watched movies, I even performed in plays but there was no fire in what I was doing. I think it's because at that particular time in my life my energies were so focused on motherhood and what that entails, my poor body and brain had no room for creative passion. Not that I'm complaining, I love raising kids (most of the time) and being a mom at all stages has fulfilled me beyond my imagining. My kids are older now and have fewer demands than when they were babies and toddlers. Artistically my experiences have magnified.
The point of all this is: I've done 2 projects in the last 12 months that I have worked on to distraction. In a way that makes me feel like 1 of 2 things is true...I haven't outgrown my creativity yet, or I never will. As to how I feel about those two things I cannot say at this point.
What does this have to do with Jesus Christ Superstar? Well, this is the second show I have directed that I did not choose. I was asked to direct this show. I don't mean to indicate that it was a hard sell for me to direct it. I was familiar with the show, in fact I worked tech on it when it was done in the Magic Valley in 1998. Some of the music I have kept tucked safely in my heart since then. I remember in recent years, (long before the thought of RAT producing this show entered into my sphere) I was going through a particularly difficult time and the song "Everything's All Right" popped into my head and wouldn't leave. "Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to, problems that upset you, no...Everything's All Right, yes Everything's fine.  So when I say I didn't choose this show I mean it's not on my "dream list" of shows to direct. After I agreed to direct it I followed my usual processes as a director. I started to research. I listened to several different recordings from the show, I watched countless videos on YouTube I read several articles about not only the show but the rather famous story it is based on from various resources. I thought about the show to distraction long before we even announced auditions. Now that we are "in it", now that our first cast meeting is tonight, I am so amped up with energy and ideas I feel like I'm going to explode. I don't know if I should warn my creative team and cast or just let them hop on and enjoy the ride...probably the latter. (Well I guess that's spoiled if any of them read my blog). Wow. I just re-read all of that and I feel a bit like a maniac. But it feels good to get it all down on "paper" so welcome to my crazy mind everyone. Mark your calendars to come see our latest venture. We will post regular updates here and on Facebook if you want to "hop on" in any way. April 16, 17 and 18 are the show dates. Downtown Twin Falls at the Orpheum Theatre. (I won't get STARTED on the amazing energy in THAT place today).

The Cast List

Jesus- Jared Johnson

Judas- Dustin Hobdey

Mary- Johanna Stagge

Pilate- Jud Harmon

Caiphas- Daniel Gardner

Annas- Taylor Twitchell

Peter- Ryan Terry

Simon- Quinn Fillmore

Herod- Brandon Tesch

Kids- Sophie King, Lisa Terry, Abbi Harmon, Isaac Harmon, Jaydyn Hopkins, Maia Malberg, 

Priest/Priestess- Paul Bowman, Rebecca Warwick

Apostles- Bekah Merrick, Kat Powell, Greg Malberg, Todd Carpenter, Courtney Ehrmantraut

Chorus- Curtis Hopfenbeck, Josie McDonald, Troy Cooper, Susanna Terry, Autumn Robinson, Ashley White, Sam Ramirez, Anne Loebs, Brianna Larson

Sound Technician- TJ Toynbee

Costumes- Mykell Walton

Audition night blog

Well...I hardly slept a wink last night. I've been thinking (sluggishly) about it all day and I don't know if having your brain  so consumed with thoughts about auditions and production you cannot sleep is a good thing...or a bad thing. At any rate the process started last night with child auditions (we still have a few spots to fill if you know someone who might be interested) and will continue tonight with adult auditions.
Auditions are always such an interesting energy. Of course nervousness comes into it, anticipation, preparation; it's exciting to be sure. Many times in a community this small there are familiar faces and camaraderie with the people auditioning. Most of all there is an incredible energy with the directing team. We love surprises (honestly, we do) and its always such a privilege to have people come out to try out for YOUR production. In RAT's early years we wouldn't always hold auditions because we knew we wouldn't have enough people come out so we spent our energy asking people to do the show instead of inviting them to try out. On rare occasions we will be producing a particular show with a particular actor in mind and thus will not open the auditions to everyone. More and more we find we have more than we need to fill the roles in a production. That's a blessing and a curse.
As a young actress I never truly understood the director's side of casting. I remember having hurt feelings because I didn't get a "big" role and on many occasions I failed to recognize a "great" role I had been given because it was smaller than the lead. I remember crying to the director about what was wrong with me and it wasn't fair. Having directed a few shows now I understand that casting a show can be as heartbreaking for a director as an actor. Hard decisions have to be made. For me casting a show is much like putting the pieces of a puzzle together. I have the image in my head of what I want and the actors are the pieces I must try and put together to create that image. In most cases it's not personal, it's combinations. I understand that now and I share that with anyone who has or will audition for a play in the future. Most of the time I see talent, but cannot use it all at the same time. Which is very hard for my tender heart. (I hide it well).
So, a few of the thoughts that were racing through my head last night. Building my picture without breaking too many hearts. Using the pieces that I'm given as efficiently and effectively as possible. Maintaining relationships I have with many of these actors and building new relationships with others. This show, and my "picture" of it which I will gladly share as we progress, is burning inside of me. It has grabbed a hold of my soul and my creative streak and I am excited and anxious to see what I can do with it. But first...auditions. The cast list will hopefully be announced publicly Wednesday this week.
Best of luck.
Tamara